Tarly and the Pilot
Two simple rules on when to lie and when to tell the truth.
Sometimes you have to share news with people close to you. Sometimes it’s best to tell the truth. Sometimes it’s best to lie. Honesty is not always the best policy.
Whoever said, “Never tell a lie,” was a callous bastard. But when should you tell the truth and when should you lie? How do you decide whether the truth or a lie is better? Two simple rules can help.
The Pilot’s Rule applies when the person’s well-being or survival depends upon knowing the most accurate information possible. This rule applies to people who need to use your information as part of the factual model of their situation. The pilot’s rule applies when the hearer needs a rational response. It applies when the hearer’s fate is in their own hands.
The movie The Right Stuff (1983), directed by Philip Kaufman, dramatizes the lives and flights of the Mercury Astronauts at the outset of the space program. During John Glenn’s flight, a warning light starts flashing on a panel at Mission Control. The light indicates that the heat shield on Glenn’s capsule might be loose. Nobody is sure what to do or even…
